Someone is after me, trying to kill me. He’s stalking me and leaving all these macabre reminders around my house, like the knife that my parents were killed with, still with blood on it (getting to that later). I never touch the items he leaves, and I have a careful record for the police of everything that happens. I live alone in a really big stone house in a cul-de-sac. My neighbors are always looking out for me.

So I’m in the front yard and talking to my neighbors when one notices that the knife in my yard has been moved. I realize it was him, and that he’s been on my property in the last couple hours. Naturally that scares the crud out of me. Two of my friends (a guy around my age, muscled and tall with features I can’t remember anymore and a tall skinny guy) offer to help. The house has a huge security fence that can only be operated from inside the systems perimiter, so we close it and go inside.

We go upstairs and start talking. I tell him the story of my parents that happened 2 years before this. Apparently we once had a friend and employee of my dad that lived with us. It was graduation and my parents never showed up to the ceremony. I went home angry and found them both dead in my Dad’s office. The friend had snapped and killed my parents. Apparently I had helped figure it out and I had forgiven him.

After I tell the story we decide to leave and go someplace I won’t be looked for. The muscley guy made a comic book reference to some villian that was like my stalker-guy. I asked him who could defeat that villian and he referenced a superhero. I asked him if he’d be my superhero and took his hand. It was such a sweet moment! So we’re walking to the door and I open it and realize immediately what’s wrong. The fence is open. We had left it closed and it could only be opened from the inside. The stalker had been inside the fence the whole time.

So I slam the door and run from it. I yell for he skinny guy to lock it and he does. So me and buff guy are running to the phone to call the police. I pick up the phone and put it up to my ear but somehow it’s already on. Stalker had come in the house when I was upstairs and called his cell phone from my phone so they were connected. I put the phone to my ear and immediately hear his breathing and I feel like I can’t breathe.  On the phone he says in one of those deep creepy voices: You can either live in fear and endanger your friends… or you can come out and die…

And then I woke up. I really couldn’t move, even though I was in an uncomfortable spot. My throat hurt and more than anything I wouldn’t let myself get anywhere near sleep for fear I’d go back into the dream. Even going over it now in writing is a little freaky. Why are my dreams so disturbing lately?

Maybe I’ll just not sleep?

I should have gone to the higher education rally in salt Lake. It starts in 10 minutes. I hadtime to get ready and go this morning, but I haven’t been sleeping well and my knee hurts. Lame excuses, I know, and I feel bad about them but not bad enough to translate into action. Hopefully the rally goes well. Unfortunately even if it does go well, scholarships at USU will be nil next year. Maybe I’ll have to reconsider a few things.

TGIF

A note about the bruising: Apparently the massive bruising I’m getting isn’t a bad thing. When the large amounts of fluid my knee have been storing start moving out, the sheer volume of it is what causes the bruises. So the bruises indicate that my knee is finally starting to empty some fluid.

The swelling in my left foot is almost gone! 12-19-08

A new bruise that developed overnight; 12-19-08

Left leg view, 12-19-08

Left leg long view 12-19-08

Comparing knees, 12-19-08

I got a prescription of percoset today. I’m hoping that this will work without the same side effects because without medicine the pain is basically unbearable. I had physical therapy again today and I did fairly well. I’m hoping my muscle doesn’t atrophy too much more because it’s going to take a lot of time to build it back up.

It’s snowing! It looks absolutely beautiful outside. I’m so glad that we’ll get a white Christmas this year. I won’t be able to do anything in the snow, but it’s a good feeling to have it around. I’ve almost got my mom convinced to drive me around tonight to look at Christmas lights. I hope it works out, although the roads are fairly slick today. It gets pretty lonely being tuck in my room most of the time, but getting out for therapy helped a little.

The nerve block they used to make my leg numb is wearing off. My muscle keeps firing, which feels a lot like a constant muscle twitch. It’s not necessarily painful, especially since I’ve been trying to get a good med schedule, but it’s weird. Speaking of pain pills, I’m still searching for a balance that relieves enough pain without making me completely loopy. Yesterday I think I overdid the pills a little and time went in strange intervals. At first it would race and then move really slowly. Today has been better, I’ve actually only taken one dose total even though I could have taken more. I think I’m going to take some a little later since the pain is beginning to come back. Hopefully this process doesn’t go as slow as it’s feeling.

Tomorrow’s the day. I’ll have pictures as soon as I can take them. Posting might take longer since I won’t have my laptop, but they’ll find there way here eventually.

We finally got some snow today. It’s almost mid-December and we haven’t really had snow at all. I might get around to taking some pictures. We practiced for the church choir this morning and I had to carry the whole section since only a couple of altos showed up. I really hope that more show up for the other practices and actual performance. Best Year Ever is on today. It’s amazing how normal my life is when I’m kind of freaking out inside. Maybe after the next 48 hours normal will be hard to come by.

Well I guess I’m headed out to go grocery shopping, I’d better appreciate normal while I can have it.